I love not knowing ...
Pausing Instagram.
It’s only been two weeks since I pressed pause on my illustration Instagram account. So I thought I’d give a little update on life without it.
I think this recent sketch of my new rescue cat, Goose, says it all. Relaxed
A surprising thing happened in those two weeks. I stopped caring about not showing up on Insta. It didn’t happen overnight. Probably after the first ten days. And then I realised, I quite like (temporarily) not knowing what is happening in the busy world of picture book publishing.
When you step off the carousel and look back, you see it all so differently. The jostling to get noticed on this overcrowded platform, the weariness and at times desperation underneath it all. We are overloaded from every angle. It’s exhausting, why add to it?
Instagram’s little hooks came out faster than I expected, too. I logged in a few times and felt... nothing. Absolutely nothing, except a triumphant up yours to the tech bro’s manipulation to keep us on the platform so they can mine our data. Liberated is a word that keeps coming up!
I’m certainly more present in my life. Inspiring or beautiful snippets in my day are enjoyed purely for myself and savoured in the moment. A sunset or sketch is no longer plonked onto social media as a way of trying to stay visible or play the algorithm ‘game’. I just enjoy it, in that very instant, not thinking about taking the perfect photograph for content creation. My mindset has had a reset and I rather like it.
I’ve definitely become more creative, with new picture book stories filling my mind. I’m currently writing 3 - all at various stages. One sprung from just two words in a book I was engrossed in, suddenly an idea popped into my head and I rushed off to jot it down. I love how reading has really taken over our evenings, I’m lucky my husband is a bookworm too. So, I’d say I’m much more focused, no distracted scrolling in the evenings.
I’ve also started sketching again, partly due to the aforementioned scrawny stray cat, my friend, the writer Natalia O’Hara rescued from the streets of London and nudged me to take in.
He is the cat I didn’t know I needed.
Those quiet sketching sessions with Goose switch my brain off from plots, deadlines and what to cook for dinner or twitchy fingers wanting to scroll. He is my little muse, and I’m very glad he’s here.
I’ve also gone as analogue as I can, my phone is as boring and practical as can be, I’m setting up actual meetings with actual editors, sending out postcards of new work, instead of showing it on Intsa. They can keep it or bin it, but in the past postcards have generated work, once three years after I sent it.
Basically, so much has happened in just two weeks. I feel much more connected to myself and in control. Cutting out the scrolling and Instagram feeds from other people’s lives, images and news – has brought a lovely stillness and order to my mind. But the strongest feeling – and I don’t mean this harshly – is at the moment I love not knowing.
A small disclaimer 1: I’m lucky. I have a brilliant agent who gets my work under the noses of the right people, which means I can afford to step back and momentarily drop off the social media cliff edge. Plus I have plenty of commissioned work to keep me busy.
I know publishers like a social media presence, and therein lies a real dilemma – one to be unpicked. Some illustrators have left the platform and thrived, but they are in the minority. It troubles me that we feel we should be on that rather hideous, unethical platform, but the pressure is real. I’ve ramped up my own presence before a book launch because I felt I should. But my account is tiny, so I’m not sure it does that much or even if I am missed.
Small disclaimer 2: I do have a private Insta account that is a picture book free zone. Just for friends and family, art, books, interiors and ceramics. But my usage there has almost gone too.
I’ve realised that my relationship with Instagram has changed and needs to change further. I think we are all feeling it. I’ve not met anyone who says “I love it’. And I don’t miss it. Perhaps Substack newsletters are a better medium for me to use? I really enjoy receiving the newsletters I have actively signed up for (but not those weekly ones or even worse, the three a week ones, it’s too much overload and I unsubscribe!) More pondering needed….
More soon.
Polly X
I think all of us are probably feeling the weight of years of pressure to keep posting to stay relevant and it is exhausting. Posting just when I feel like it seems like a solution that suits me and I don’t really fret about engagement - but maybe that’s because I’m starting to feel detached from the picture book world… more on that soon!
The weight of years seems about right. I think everyone is also getting complacent with likes because we are weary of time spent there, a decades worth, and it’s proved itself impossible to keep up with the many thousands. I also think art practices aren’t something that should be on a conveyer belt. Rolled out impromptu like a rolling out another factory carpet. It takes time to grow, to think, often in quiet contemplation over long periods of time. Sadly lost. It is a devil and the deep blue sea conundrum. Breaks are so important. Numbers are not.